Smoking Helps you Relax?
By: Patrick Glancy
I've worked with a lot of people to quit smoking. In doing this, I have heard all kinds of reasons that it might be better if they kept smoking.
I've been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel "better". (I always ask "better than what"?)
I know you don't really believe these reasons, or why would you be trying to stop smoking. Still, a part of you DOES believe these reasons.
The obvious and overlooked part is you must have a strong reason to continue smoking or you would have already stopped. By the way, there is no law that says your reason to keep smoking has to make any logical sense. It rarely does.
In fact, 99% of the reasons you continue can easily be proven incorrect. Maybe smoking keeps you from blowing up and yelling at your spouse because you're mouth is full of smoke, or even better, you have to go outside to smoke.
Even when you know the reason doesn't make sense that knowledge doesn't always help you stop. It might just add to your frustration in the struggle to stop. Just one more reason to stop that doesn't out-weigh the craving to continue.
It's basically about two things. The motivation that smoking will make you feel better and the feeling that you're trying to feel better than. That is all.
If you're too hot, you look for ways to cool off. If you're leg hurts you look for pain relief. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever...) you look to feel good. If you have held the belief that smoking makes you feel good, that's where your mind takes you.
This is an only slightly simplified explanation of a craving. Most smokers have more than one type of craving like, the 'first thing in the morning' craving feels different than the 'after lunch' craving. But the same model applies.
So how to help this situation? I can spend a few articles explaining it (and I have, look for them) But, it comes down to changing the feelings, motivations and beliefs involved.
First, the bad feeling needs to be helped. If it's about stress, get it managed, if it's a difficult situation, do what you can to take care of it or get some help. If it's a bad feeling you get that is beyond what the situation deserves, behavior modification might be what you need.
Second, the belief that smoking makes you feel good (it is often the mistaken, and understandable, belief that smoking equals being an adult, in control, strong, capable, etc...) The fact is, smoking is some plant leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling you're looking for, and sometimes experience, is created by YOU. YOU make yourself feel better when you smoke. You can make yourself feel just as good when drinking a glass of water. If, your mind believes it.
And there's the trick for most people. Successfully quitting smoking is much easier after changing these emotional connections. People don't often think of this. That is why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with their medication.
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