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Livng Happily Ever After
By: Damon Taylor
Identifying whether you are 'in love' is often a difficult task. We all set our own criteria for defining whether we are in love or not, and whilst not all people experience love as an emotion filled with passion and desire, most psychologist report that romantic love can be defined by several different components.
Being in love or experiencing romantic love involves feelings of strong attraction and sexual desire toward another person. So, what precisely does being 'in love' entail? According to research, being in love entails firstly being immersed within a culture that represents and accepts the notion of love, thus, love must be present within the culture. Secondly, being in love entails experiencing intense emotional arousal when in the presence of the person you love, and third, these feelings and emotions experienced must be assorted with the object of our affection, attached with fears that the relationship might end. Psychologist thus report that only if all of these conditions or components are present, then one can safely state that they are 'in love'.
Despite the strength and the commanding nature affiliated with being in love, often we find ourselves falling in love rapidly, with many of us describing our relationships as 'it was love at first sight'. So how do some of us fall in love so quickly? There are numerous theories available that attempt to explain how love is formed and why some people fall in love rapidly. Such theories examine love in the context of attachments formed with our parents as infants, others examine love within the concept of evolutionary theory whereby the reproductive successes of our species is dependent upon the desire for both men and women to engage in sexual intercourse; and both men and women sharing an interest in investing the time and effort to feed and protect their offspring.
Whilst an accurate explanation of love ceases to exist, research reveal that both early experiences and our genetic heritage play a part in our tendency to fall in love and form social relationships that sometimes lasts a lifetime. Unfortunately however, whilst some romantic relationships blossom into lifelong commitments, others slowly deteriorate.
So why do some relationships die whilst others prosper? Research indicates that a number of factors can lead to the decline of our relationships. Sexual jealousy plays an important role within relationships. If one or both partners experience intense sexual jealousy, then the relationship is in trouble. Discovering our partner over time can also lead to our relationship deteriorating. Upon the commencement of a relationship, we often know very little about our partner. We are filled with excitement and love becomes literally 'blind'. As we become more aware of our partner's flaws and idiosyncrasies, we can slowly realise that we are actually dissimilar, and as the passion subsides, such differences can lead to disastrous results.
Boredom has also been identified as problematic in relationships. As time passes by, some people may become emerged in the day to day routine of life, and thus begin to feel like they are stuck in a rut. Such feelings can lead people to feel that they are missing out on certain excitements in life, such as new partners. As a result, such reactions can have consequential results for relationships.
Lastly, as relationships continue over time, self defeating patterns of behaviour slowly emerge. Upon the commencement of relationships, we often express positive emotions and compliments towards our partner, however as time passes by, such positive remarks can transform into derogative and demeaning comments. Thus individuals, who begin by seeing their partner as perfect and constantly applying praise, often slowly adopt destructive and criticizing behaviours, resulting in unfortunate results.
Whilst some relationships do die, there are many that go on to last lifetimes. Couples who get married and remain together for a life time show patterns of behaviour that are more positive toward one another, and attempt to minimise the pitfalls listed above. Maintaining a relationship entails hard work and continuous effort. Couples, who remain together practice the art of compromise, express positive remarks and compliments to one another and take each other's wishes into account on a daily basis. Whist this may appear to be hard work, the end result is priceless.
Article Source: http://www.ezarticles.info
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