3-Step Plan to Get Your Ex Back
By: Erik J. Michaels
A breakup is a rotten thing for anyone to have to go through, but you don't have to despair about it. Even when it seems like things are unravelling with the one your love, rest assured that it is indeed possible to pull it back together...and I can help you do that!
I've assembled all of the little things (and some not-so-little) involved in figuring out how to get your ex back into a simplistic 3-step program that groups the processes into three separate stages. With this plan, it becomes very possible indeed to turn your life around and get your ex back.
Stage 1 - Sever Contact With Your Ex: This may not seem like what you'd logically want to do to start on the path to get your ex back, but it's the best idea none the less. Break off contact with your ex; leave him/her alone for a while and use the time while he/she is recuperating to do some regrouping yourself.
Nine out of ten relationships end because the person leaving the other wasn't getting everything he/she needed. Sometimes that need can even be freedom from a particular nasty habit of his/her partner's, but usually it's something a little more integral. What that means for you is that if your partner left you you've got some work to do on yourself. You're responsible for your ex leaving you, so you need to sit down and figure out exactly what went wrong and more than that how to fix it. Make whatever sacrifices or compromises you deem necessary...but know that skimping on the self-work is just going to make things worse.
Stage 2 - Rebuild Contact: Figuring out and fixing all the problems you're responsible for in the relationship can take a while, so most of the time once that's all taken care of or at least well-started, enough time has passed so that you can contact your ex again. Keep this first one light and nonaggressive...a phone call or email is good, and get no more personal than "how have you been?" "Nonthreatening" is the word here.
If that went without conflict, it's probably all good to go ahead and slowly build contact back up with the odd phone call or email here and again. Don't push things too quickly, or you'll drive your ex away, but take things slowly and you'll probably end up spending some decent time together. Use the times you're with each other to passively remind your ex of how great the two of you used to fit, by doing things the both of you always enjoyed as a couple. The memories combined with the new and improved you should really soften up your ex to the idea of reuniting and possibly even make it be his/her idea.
Stage 3 - Maintaining the Reunion: Perhaps the most vital part, this comes after you've made up with your ex and are back together with him/her. Once you have your ex back, you have to keep that relationship going strong, and to do this you have to NOT fall back into your old habits. If you let the changes you made to yourself go down the tubes, all your hard work could be for nothing as your ex could leave you again...and this time not come back.
Remember when you're using this 3-stage system that it's almost entirely based on passive techniques. The most proactivity and aggression you'll be demonstrating should be with yourself, getting your flaws and issues sorted out. When dealing with your ex, the last thing you want to do is scare him/her away, so always work on simply letting your ex see your dedication for him/herself. It's amazing how effective it can be.
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