1980's Timewarp: Where Were You?
By: Matthew W. Grant
It was the decade of decadence. It was about glitz and glamour as well as baubles, bangles, and beads.
Everyone loved Luke and Laura in the afternoon. Lady Diana Spencer joined the Royal Family. Nighttime soaps like Dallas and Knots Landing ruled the airwaves. Margaret Thatcher ruled the United Kingdom. Tom Cruise felt the need for speed. Gordon Gekko taught Wall Street whiz kids that greed was good. Material Girl Madonna made her musical debut.
What decade was it?
We can only be talking about that terrific time period – the excellent eighties.
Here are twenty-one ways for you to verify that you belong to (or belong in) the 1980's.
1. You tried breakdancing. Now you're trying to figure out how you didn't break any bones doing it.
2. You can still recite dialogue from any movie starring Molly Ringwald.
3. "Cell phones" meant the telephone people used when they got their "one phone call" in jail.
4. You had at least one of the following: a My Little Pony, He-Man action figures, a Rubik's Cube, or something with a Star Wars logo on it.
5. You first heard about the Human Genome Project in the science newsletter your teacher would pass out on Friday afternoons. You also remember how this was supposed to lead to the eradication of disease.
6. You remember the day that thousands of radio stations across the world played "We Are The World" at the exact same time. (Now, you're singing it!)
7. Your first album was a vinyl 33 and you laughed at your parents because they wanted to play 45's and 8-track tapes.
8. You remember who Bernard Goetz is and why he made headlines.
9. Someone on your street or neighborhood sent his or her life savings to a later discredited televangelist.
10. You hung out with your friends at the mall, especially in the video arcade where you exchanged those hard-earned quarters for tokens.
11. You know that "glasnost" means openness or transparency and "perestroika" means economic restructuring.
12. You and your friends made fun of the "I've fallen and I can't get up" lady. (The fictional woman was named Mrs. Fletcher and the product was the LifeCall emergency service.)|You and your friends made fun of the "Where's the beef?" commercials for Wendy's starring Clara Peller.}}}
13. You think the word "like" in an integral part of every sentence and should be used as often as possible. Like this, "She was like, like why would I say that, that's not like me at all. Like who does she think she is, you know? Like, really!"
14. You know that "Back in St. Olaf…" was the beginning of a very convoluted story.
15. You joined a protest or gave an interview to a local media station demanding that New Coke be shelved and original Coca-Cola be brought back.
16. You remember when television consisted of three networks ABC, CBS, and NBC.
17. You know what a snap bracelet is and how one works.
18. You were inspired by Sally Ride, the first female astronaut.
19. Renting horror movie sequels about Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Michael Myers took up a lot of your time.
20. If someone says, "I don’t know," you automatically cringe expecting the green slime to mysteriously fall from the ceiling.
21. You wore out your thumbs playing video games on any or all of the following consoles: Atari, Intellivision, Sega, Nintendo, and Coleco.
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